Four Walls
“You stand here, put your hands up towards the sky.”
“Now you stand facing her, about this far away, and you put your hands to the sky too.”
”Now, lean your hands forward until they are touching.”
”Okay, the rest of you, stand beside them and do the same thing, so we are all standing side-by-side, and facing the others, hands to the sky, but reached forward so we touch in the middle.”
These are the instructions I remember one of the Mexican youth, we’ll call him David, giving to his team on one of our Mission Adventure weeks in Tijuana. Let me back up a bit though.
One of the highlight expressions of our Mission Adventure trips was when we started having it be a shared experience between our Canadian youth and youth from the Mexican communities that YWAM or the church we knew were connected with. Even though these young people came from different cultures, spoke different languages and represented different socio-economic realities, they were able to share in some incredible life-shaping experiences.
The first few days would always be a bit awkward as they would try to overcome language barriers. But once we started to share some experiences together, it was incredible to see how these students from different parts of the world could so quickly become great friends! They would try to speak one another’s languages, they would laugh about the way they did things differently, they would share stories of their normal lives, ultimately, they truly would become friends.
Like I said, these are high-light reel memories to be sure. I won’t lie though, they presented some incredible leadership challenges. These kids really did have radically different realities. Our privileged Canadian kids would look out at the surrounding areas and think, “There’s no way I could survive here.” “The driving is crazy.” “There’s garbage everywhere.” “There are too many stray dogs dying.” “I couldn’t live in a house that small.” The Mexican kids would look out and say, “This is my home.”
So how were we to lead these young people to have shared, authentic experiences?
I’m not sure I really have a solid answer for that. We tried though. We asked them LOTS of questions about how it was going. We worked with the YWAM staff and the church leaders to ensure that we were asking the right questions. We called out privilege and tried to help our students see that just because things were different, they weren’t wrong, or backwards, or unsurvivable. I remember many times saying, “I’m pretty sure that what we’re experiencing here is awesome and beautiful! But…. I’m a bit worried we might break someone! Maybe this is dangerous, maybe this is a bad idea?”
Over the years I’ve spoken with many of the students, both Canadian and Mexican who were a part of these experiences. So far I’ve only heard them speak to how much they appreciated the opportunity to truly become friends with people who are so different.
Especially as I look at the world today, I can only hope and pray that those students are remembering to be filled with grace and to seeking to communicate and be curious when they are confronted by a world that is torn and filled with differences.
That was a lot of back story to the conversation quoted above. Here’s more of the story…
After spending the day building a home together with Homes of Hope in Tijuana, our whole group was lead through a narrative of where some of these families receiving homes had come from. We heard the story of a family coming up from Central America, trying to get to the United States with the hope of a better future. Their dreams were crushed when they realized the simply didn’t have the right documentation to receive entry or even asylum. So they were turned back to Mexico. But Tijuana was not their home, they were strangers and foreigners there. No job. No family. No home.
The father would do whatever he could to get work and provide protection and food for his family. It was tough, but slowly he managed to build a life for his family.
The exercise put before our students was to imagine themselves in those situations, now with no roof above their heads. They were encouraged to work together “as a family” and find some materials in order to build a shelter for themselves.
Most of the groups jumped right in, gathering from the pile the leadership had left out and got to building. Left-over lumber, tarps, old doors… whatever they could find could possibly be useful.
One group, however, seemed to not be making any progress. I remember going over to investigate and seeing this was one of our most diverse groups in terms of language. I assumed they simply needed some help translating.
So I jumped in and began to see how I could help. David, the Mexican young man quoted above, asked me if it would be okay if he made some changes to the assigned task. Rather than use random materials to build the home, he asked if he could show this team what his father had taught him when his family was actually in this situation.
First, I told him I hadn’t known his story and asked if he was okay working through this in this way with this team of strangers. He assured me he was very excited to share with them some of the things his father had instilled in him during such trying times of his life. So we made some quick changes and gathered his group together.
David told the group of when he himself was younger and had travelled from the southern parts of Mexico with his family, hoping for a better future in the United States. When they were denied entry, they had nothing. So his father got to work providing for them and working to build a home.
He told them how they were able to create structures and provide a home for themselves.
The most important thing that he wanted his new friends to know though, was that it was not that material things they could find that created the home that truly mattered.
He said, this is what my father would tell us, no matter how little we had, or how much we had, my father would always have us come together and he have us do this…
“You stand here, put your hands up towards the sky.”
“Now you stand facing her, about this far away, and you put your hands to the sky too.”
”Now, lean your hands forward until they are touching.”
”Okay, the rest of you, stand beside them and do the same thing, so we are all standing side-by-side, and facing the others, hands to the sky, but reached forward so we touch in the middle.”
While narrating this, David had been moving his teammates around and arranging them into this very building.
“Now, you are the home! You here, you are the walls, with your hands reaching to the sky, you are the roof. You here, you are the other wall, with your hands reaching to the sky, leaning in to join in the middle, you too are the roof,” David said, recalling the very words his father would say.
Then he crouched down inside, between the walls, under the roof of their outstretched arms, and continued to share the wisdom and hope his father had instilled in him.
“After we were built into the house, my father would crouch down onto the ground. He would hold me or my younger siblings and he would tell us that he would do everything he could to always make sure we actually had four walls around us and a roof over our heads. But, he said, no matter what ever happens, if we have little or if we have much, we must remember that we always have each other. Your brothers and sisters, your mother and father - your family. We are what make the home. We must always care for one another. We must always seek to protect one another. We much always be there for one another.”
Then David stood up, with tears pouring down most of our faces, he spoke of the joy it had been to see his family grow during the experiences of that week. And he challenged everyone, the other Mexican youth, our Canadian youth, myself and some of the other leaders, he challenged us to never forget what is most important in our lives, to never forget that it is not the material things we surround ourselves with that ultimately matter and for us to always be quick to show love and gratitude to those we love.
As you can imagine, this is not the typical story of a House Build with Homes of Hope. Yet when I have built homes over the years I have heard many families tell similar stories of where they had come from and what they had to lean into during their times of even greater need.
Although we certainly want to remember that the material walls and roof are not as important as the life-giving, life-shaping relationships of family, we know how exceptionally important that shelter is! And what a joy it is to be a part of the story when a family receives that new home.
Please remember that my hope throughout this year is to raise the funds to build a home for a family through Homes of Hope. If international travel allows for it, my family plans to go to Tijuana in August to build. We’ve had a number of families express interest in joining us and are praying that this can happen.
I’d be SUPER honoured if you would be willing to contribute to the cost of building a home and becoming a part of a story for a family like David’s.
Check out the “Giving” section here for details on how to contribute.
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